E.B. White's response to the ASPCA in 1951 upon being accused of harboring an unlicensed dog:

She wears her metal license tag but I must say I don't particularly care for it, as it is in the shape of a hydrant, which seems to me a feeble gag, besides being pointless in the case of a female. It is hard to believe that any state in the Union would circulate a gag like that and make people pay money for it, but Maine is always thinking of something.​

If this letter doesn't cause at minimum a smirk, you're taking life far too seriously.